Life Lessons

When we first arrived here on May 20th, relief was the first emotion I felt once we were dropped off by my sponsor and my supervisor. It has been 3 months and 8 days since that day and I'm still trying to have a positive outlook on our decision to move here.

I've thoroughly enjoyed learning about a new culture and how Koreans live. I truly appreciate the diversity the US has afforded me and my family. Being in an Asian country again, even if it isn't my home has been a wonderful change in our lives. One thing that was a complete surprise for me is that I didn't think I would feel slightly uncomfortable being surrounded by mainly Asians. I figured that since my first 11 years of my life was in the Philippines and I was hoping Korea would be somewhat similar, but I couldn't have been so wrong.

I feel like a fish out of water gasping for air to breathe.  I know I will adapt and really start to realize that living here is for the best. I'm hoping for a better future for Jensen. The quality of education is so much better here.  The emphasis on music and art is alive and well.  They value it as much as academics and do not try to cut it out of the system. Although, I don't agree with the pressure that the kids go through at such a young age to achieve. I would like Jensen to find a happy balance in doing well and being successful on his own terms.  I don't care for him to be a doctor or lawyer, unless it's what he wants for his life. I will support him in what makes him happy. I hope we can teach him to be self sufficient while doing what he loves.

I even started a pros and cons list just to make sure I wasn't letting my feelings dictate my state of mind. I guess that's the part of me that strives to be logical and not let my emotions rule me. The biggest con on my list is my job, more specifically a colleague of mine. Everything about my position I love. I am now a SCCM administrator and I'm so excited that I am able to manage this product and we also use Vsphere.  Two of the main IT tools I have heard Christian talk about the past 5 years. He makes it sound so much fun that I've always wanted to work on these systems. Now that I am, it'll be a whole new adventure in my career. Now if I can only tolerate someone long enough to stay and learn, that's another story. I've already started looking for another job. I know I can't apply for a GS 12, but I can do a lateral move to another GS 11 position. For some reason those positions are rare. All I've seen are GS 12's and higher. I have even asked the Commander if I can just be transferred to another dept. Yes, I am that desperate to leave. I loathe going in to work.

This particular person has belittled me and made me feel as if I am a child being scolded by her father. I don't feel like I belong. The person that left and I happened to be filling his position has a count down on the wipe board on when he is coming back. Today will be 387 days left until he is able to return to Korea. Yes, I know how many days. It's as if I am just keeping his seat warm for him. Talk about being made to feel as an outsider.

One thing I've learned from this experience is that I will have so many questions for the next job I get picked to be interviewed. I will ask how the current morale among the employees and the management relationships. I never thought about asking these questions since I never accepted a job where the morale was so low that within 3 weeks of arrival our section manager who is over the entire IT, only 2nd to the Commander, held a meeting and announced how unhappy he was and that he was going to be leaving in a year and that we as employees are responsible for our own well-being. He basically said stay if you can stand the heat, but for those who can't you need to make preparations on leaving. How am I suppose to feel as a newcomer and I hear this from upper management?

If I had to do it all over again and know what I know now, I still would take the job. I love living in another country, but the cons lists is getting longer than the pros. I know I'm venting a little bit, but it makes me feel better and those that care enough to read this will and know that I'm doing ok despite the issue I am having at work. I hope I haven't bore you to death. Stay tuned, I might be reporting that I have a new job or have been transferred to another department.